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Top Ten Signs No One Wants To Be Your Valentine




10. Phone sex operators keep hanging up on you

9. FOX is starting a new show about you: 'America's Least Wanted'

8. You get a heart-shaped box filled with angry hornets

7. The babes just don't seem to go for your home-made Star Trek uniform

6. You're taking private tutorials with Jocelyn Elders

5. You have one of them handsome Ito beards--and you're a woman!

4. The last time you got laid was during the Eisenhower administration

3. You spend your vacation chasin' lizards

2. The Pope asks you for tips on celibacy

1. You ain't a Gingrich, but your nickname's 'Newt'

 




 

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