A family took their frail, elderly mother to a nursing
home and left her, hoping she would be well cared for.
The next morning, the nurses bathed her, fed her a
tasty breakfast, and set her in a chair at a window
overlooking a lovely flower garden.
She seemed okay, but after a while she slowly started
to tilt sideways in her chair. Two attentive nurses
immediately rushed up to catch her and straighten her
Again she seemed
okay, but after a while she slowly started to tilt
over to her other side. The nurses rushed back and
once more brought her back upright. This went on
the family arrived to see how the old woman was adjusting
to her new home. "So
Ma, how is it here? Are they treating you all right?"
pretty nice," she replied. "Except
they won't let me fart!"
At 85 years of age, Morris marries LouAnne, a lovely
25-year-old. Because her new husband is so old, LouAnne
decides that on their wedding night, she and Morris
are to have separate bedrooms. The newlywed is concerned
that her new husband may overexert himself if they
spend the entire night together.
After the wedding
festivities, LouAnne prepares herself for bed, and
for the expected "knock" on
the door. Sure enough, the knock comes, the door opens,
and there is her 85-year-old groom, ready for action.
They unite as one. All goes well, whereupon Morris
takes leave of LouAnne, and she prepares to go to sleep.
a few minutes, LouAnne hears another knock on her
bedroom door. It's Morris! And he's again ready for
more action! Somewhat surprised, LouAnne consents
to further coupling. When the newlyweds are done,
Morris kisses LouAnne, bids her a fond good night,
is set to go to sleep again. However, after a few
short minutes, there is another knock at her door,
and there he is again. Morris, as fresh as a 25-year-old
and ready for a bit more action. And again they enjoy
As Morris is once
again set to leave, the young bride says to him, "I
am thoroughly impressed that at your age, honey,
I've been with guys less than a third your age who
were only good once! You're a great lover, Morris."
embarrassed, turns to LouAnne and says, "You
mean I was here already?"
day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother
do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She noticed that
her mother had several strands of white hair sticking
out in contrast to her brunette hair.
She looked at
her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why
are some of your
hairs white, Mom?"
mother replied, "Well,
every time that you do
something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of
my hairs turns white."
little girl thought about this revelation for a while
and then said,"Momma, how come ALL of Grandma's hairs are white?"