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What Kind of Sex do YOU Have?




SOCIAL SECURITY SEX

Two men were talking. "So, how's your sex life?" "Oh, nothing special. I'm having Social Security sex." "Social Security sex?" "Yeah, you know: I get a little each month, but not enough to live on!"

LOUD SEX

A wife went in to see a therapist and said, "I've got a big problem, doctor. Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets out this ear splitting yell." "My dear," the shrink said, "that's completely natural. I don't see what the problem is." "The problem is," she complained, "It wakes me up!"


QUIET SEX

Tired of a listless sex life, the man came right out and asked his wife during a recent lovemaking session, "How come you never tell me when you have an orgasm?" She glanced at him casually and replied, "You're never home!"


CONFOUNDED SEX

A man was in a terrible accident, and his "manhood" was mangled and torn from his body. His doctor assured him that modern medicine could give him back his manhood, but that his insurance wouldn't cover the surgery, since it was considered cosmetic. The doctor said the cost would be $3,500 for "small, $6,500 for "medium, $14,000 for "large." The man was sure he would want a medium or large, but the doctor urged him to talk it over with his wife before he made any decision. The man called his wife on the phone and explained their options. The doctor came back into the room, and found the man looking dejected. "Well, what have the two of you decided?" asked the doctor. The man answered, "She'd rather remodel the kitchen".

WEDDING ANNIVERSARY SEX

A husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary. The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: 'Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever'." "Yeah," she replies, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone reads: 'Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last.'"

Description: There are a few different kinds of sex you can have. Which best describes YOU?
 
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Page 1 of 19 170 comments | Add a comment

September 16, 2013
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NOW THAT U R READING THIS DONT STOP OR U WILL DIE IN THE NEXT 4 MINS..... MY NAME IS DAVID...IM 3 YEARS OLD.....MY DAD SHOVED PENCIL LEADS UP MY ASS MY MOM BEATS MY WITH A KNIFE 50 TIME A DAY,ONE OF MY EYES R MISSING THE OTHER IS BLEEDING MY DAD LOCKES ME IN THE BASMMENT WITH NO WINDOWS NO AIR NO LIGHT AND THE ROOF IS ALWAYS LEKING THEY ONLY GIVE ME TOLITE WATER AND BREAD CRUST,COPY AND PASTE THIS TO 50 OTHER VIDEOS IN 15 MINS OR U WILL WAKE UP AT EXACKLY 1:00AM SEEING A LITTLE BOY AT THE END OF THE BED WITH A BIG KITCHEN KNIFE. PPL I HAVE KILLED: SUMMER: ONLY DID 15 BEFORE HER BEDTIME , NEXT MORNING SHE WAS FOUND WITH A DEEP CUT ON HER NECK U SOULD HAVE SAW IT IN THE NEWS IN 1987 ANDREW: HE THOUGHT IT WAS A JOKE,NOW HES HISTORY.HE DIED A SLOW AND PAINFULL DEATH.ON TV IN 1979 RACHELLE: ONLY READ HALF OF THIS AND DIDNT EVEN DO WHAT I TOLD HER NEXED MORNING THE PARENTS FOUND HER HAGING IN HER CLOSET, THERE WAS A LOT OF KNIFE MARKS ON HER BODY,ON THE RADIO 1947

 
January 26, 2013
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November 05, 2012
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DUDE LOOK OMG SORRY!!!! WHEN U ALREADY START READING THIS DONT STOP OR ELSE SOMETHING BAD WILL HAPPEN...MY NAME IS JENNY...I AM 7 YEARS OLD WITH RED/ORANGE HAIR, PENCIL SHAVINGS THAT GOT SHOVED UP MY BUTT , MY MOTHER BEATS ME I LIVE IN A CELL WITH NO WINDOWS DOORS AND NO LIGHT, I HAVE RED SCARY EYES AND IHAVE NO NOSE OR EARS. I AM DEAD. IF YOU DONT SEND THIS TO 15PPL B4 U GO TO BED I WILL APPEAR 2NIGHT WITH A KNIFE AND KILL U THIS IS NO JOKE SOMETHING GOOD WILL HAPPEN TO U AT 10:22 SOMEONE WILL CALL YOU OR TALK TO YOU ONLINE AND SAY I LOVE YOU OR ASK YOU OUT BUT HERES THE CATCH, YOU HAVE TO SEND IT TO 15 DIFFERENT VIDEO

 
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August 09, 2012
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hello dear, i am not happy because of my loneliness though very beautiful,i am a lovely romantic girl, it will be a great pleasure to let you know that When we truly realize that we are all alone is when we need others the most” so write to me through (faithgood24@yahoo.com) so that i can tell you more about me and also send you my picture's i am awaiting for your email now on (faithgood24@yahoo.com) . thanks and have a nice day. your new friend faith .

 
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April 10, 2012
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February 02, 2012
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