SOCIAL
SECURITY SEX
Two men were talking. "So, how's your sex life?" "Oh,
nothing special. I'm having Social Security sex." "Social
Security sex?" "Yeah, you know: I get a little
each month, but not enough to live on!"
LOUD SEX
A wife went in to see a therapist and said, "I've
got a big problem, doctor. Every time we're in bed
and my husband climaxes, he lets out this ear splitting
yell." "My dear," the shrink said, "that's
completely natural. I don't see what the problem is." "The
problem is," she complained, "It wakes me
up!"
QUIET SEX
Tired of a listless sex life, the man came
right out and asked his wife during a
recent lovemaking
session, "How
come you never tell me when you have an orgasm?" She
glanced at him casually and replied, "You're never
home!"
CONFOUNDED SEX
A man was in a terrible accident, and his "manhood" was
mangled and torn from his body. His doctor assured
him that modern medicine could give him back his manhood,
but that his insurance wouldn't cover the surgery,
since it was considered cosmetic. The doctor said the
cost would be $3,500 for "small, $6,500 for "medium,
$14,000 for "large." The man was sure he
would want a medium or large, but the doctor urged
him to talk it over with his wife before he made any
decision. The man called his wife on the phone and
explained their options. The doctor came back into
the room, and found the man looking dejected. "Well,
what have the two of you decided?" asked the doctor.
The man answered, "She'd rather remodel the kitchen".
WEDDING ANNIVERSARY SEX
A
husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on
the day
of their 40th
wedding anniversary. The husband yells, "When
you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads:
'Here Lies My Wife - Cold
As Ever'." "Yeah," she replies, "When
you die, I'm getting you a headstone reads:
'Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last.'"
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omg that was so gay
I dont care cuz this is gay
this is really gay lol omg
lol I cant believe they really want to know omg.
omg omg A few years ago, two parents went out for dinner. A few hours later, the babysitter was calling to ask if she could cover up the clown statue in the kids' room, the father said,"Take the kids and get out of the house. We'll call the police, we don't have a clown statue." The "clown statue" is really a killer that escaped from jail. If you don't post this letter on to 10 videos tonight, the clown will be in your bed at 3:00 am with a chainsaw in his hand
NOW THAT U R READING THIS DONT STOP OR U WILL DIE IN THE NEXT 4 MINS..... MY NAME IS DAVID...IM 3 YEARS OLD.....MY DAD SHOVED PENCIL LEADS UP MY ASS MY MOM BEATS MY WITH A KNIFE 50 TIME A DAY,ONE OF MY EYES R MISSING THE OTHER IS BLEEDING MY DAD LOCKES ME IN THE BASMMENT WITH NO WINDOWS NO AIR NO LIGHT AND THE ROOF IS ALWAYS LEKING THEY ONLY GIVE ME TOLITE WATER AND BREAD CRUST,COPY AND PASTE THIS TO 50 OTHER VIDEOS IN 15 MINS OR U WILL WAKE UP AT EXACKLY 1:00AM SEEING A LITTLE BOY AT THE END OF THE BED WITH A BIG KITCHEN KNIFE. PPL I HAVE KILLED: SUMMER: ONLY DID 15 BEFORE HER BEDTIME , NEXT MORNING SHE WAS FOUND WITH A DEEP CUT ON HER NECK U SOULD HAVE SAW IT IN THE NEWS IN 1987 ANDREW: HE THOUGHT IT WAS A JOKE,NOW HES HISTORY.HE DIED A SLOW AND PAINFULL DEATH.ON TV IN 1979 RACHELLE: ONLY READ HALF OF THIS AND DIDNT EVEN DO WHAT I TOLD HER NEXED MORNING THE PARENTS FOUND HER HAGING IN HER CLOSET, THERE WAS A LOT OF KNIFE MARKS ON HER BODY,ON THE RADIO 1947
this is gay
HIS ACTUALLY WORKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 1.)say the name of the boy/girl u like twice 2.)now say the name of your best friend 5 times to yerself 3.)now post this onto 5 videos and then press f8 and then ur crushes name will appear on the screen!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS ACTUALLY WORKS!!!!!!!!!!