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Rejected Halmark Cards

Rejected Halmark Cards


1. So your daughter's a hooker,
and it spoiled your day...
Look at the bright side,
she's a really good lay.

2. My tire was thumping....
I thought it was flat....
when I looked at the tire....
I noticed your cat... Sorry

3. You had your bladder removed
and you're on the mends....
here's a bouquet of flowers
and a box of Depends.

4. You've announced that you're gay,
won't that be a laugh,
when they find out you're one
of the Joint Chiefs of Staff.

5. Happy Vasectomy!
Hope you feel zippy!
'Cause when I had mine
I got real snippy.

6. Heard your wife left you...
How upset you must be...
But don't fret about it....
She moved in with me

7. You totaled your car...
and can't remember why...
could it have been...
that case of Bud Dry?

8. To my ex on Valentines Day
After all these years
I am still missing you
But my aim is getting better
Description: Some hilarious greeting card ideas that didn't quite make the cut!
 
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Page 1 of 4 32 comments | Add a comment

May 21, 2011
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cover your mouth step2. make a wish step3. close your hand (fist) step4. hold your hand close to your heart for 5 seconds step5. send this to 3 more videos step6. tomorrow will be the best day very it actually worked money- you will find a wad of $200 in cash love- your crush or lover will kiss you or ask you out

 
May 31, 2009
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theyre all funny bu i dont get the last one

 
July 29, 2008
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omg omg A few years ago, two parents went out for dinner. A few hours later, the babysitter was calling to ask if she could cover up the clown statue in the kids' room, the father said,"Take the kids and get out of the house. We'll call the police, we don't have a clown statue." The "clown statue" is really a killer that escaped from jail. If you don't post this letter on to 10 videos tonight, the clown will be in your bed at 3:00 am with a chainsaw in his hand

 
April 24, 2008
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THOSE ARE HILARIOUS! ( and i dont care if i spelled it wrong LOL)

 
April 24, 2008
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Funny!

 
March 22, 2008
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good

 
February 28, 2008
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it's funny

 

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