A Man's Perfect Wedding
If Men Were in Charge of Weddings
There would be a "Rehearsal Kegger" rather than a "Rehearsal Dinner."
Bridesmaids would wear matching blue jean cut-offs and halter tops.
They would have NO tan lines.
Vows would mention cooking and sex specifically, but omit that "forsaking all others" part.
The couple would leave the ceremony in a souped up '73 Charger or some other Mopar with racing tires and flame designs on the side of the car. Better yet, a Harley!
Idiots who tried to dance with the bride (unless they were really old) would get punched in the head.
Big, slobbery dogs would be eligible for the role of "Best Man."
There would be "Tailgate Receptions."
Ceremonies would be short and honeymoons would be long.
Ceremonies and honeymoons would be inexpensive compared to the cost of the bachelor party. Those strippers and liquor sure do add up.
Men wouldn't ask, "Well, what do you think, dear? The burgundy or the wine colored napkins?" They'd just grab extras from their local pub or tavern.
Favors would be matchbooks and cigars. Better yet, free drink passes at the local lounge.
The bride's dress would show cleavage, her navel, and be form-fitted to her butt.
Instead of a sit-down dinner or a buffet, there would be a hog roast or buckets of chicken, pizza and plenty of bar-b-que.
No one would bother with that "Veil Routine." But they would insist that the garter be as high up on her leg as it could go.
The bridal bouquet would be recycled from a previous funeral or something.
Invitations would read as follows:
Tom (Dick or Harry) is getting the ol' ball and chain... He's getting married. He either: A) knocked her up, B) couldn't get a different roommate, or C) caved in to her ultimatum. Please meet the woman who will cook and clean for him For the rest of his life at Texas Stadium On the 50 Yard Line At Half-time during Sunday's Game. Please join us at The Clubhouse after the game For Beer, Nachos and Pizza. Oh yeah... B.Y.O.B
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Description: A look at what weddings might be like if men were in charge of organizing them!
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watz byob?
ooooooooooookkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyy
yyy.......................
I was married once... I was allowed a little too much planning, which is how I caught a fish DURING the wedding. It was a keeper- she wasn't!
BYE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
a girl named Jessica went online she started talkin to another girl. it started out normally......... Jessica: Hey person. Other girl: Hello Jessica: You've been a really interesting person to talk to. Other girl: Really? Thanks. You really mean it? Jessica: Yea. Other girl: What's ur name again? Jessica: My name is Jessica. What's urs? Other girl: I can't really tell u. Jessica: Why? Other girl: Because I'm dead. Jessica: What? Other girl: I'm dead. Jessica: How can u be dead? I mean, dead people don't i.m. living people. Other girl: Yes they can because I can. Jessica: Ok then, so ur dead. Ok. So what's ur real name now that I know that u are dead? Other girl: Mary, or at least it is now. Jessica: So where do u live 'dead person' and what's ur last name and ur real name? Mary: Do you really want to know? Jessica: Yea, duh. I mean, ur probably lyin and I wanna know who u really r by lookin in the phonebook. Mary: You really wanna know? Jessica: (Feeling Frustrated) Yes. I DO! Now just
B.Y.O.B wats that someone message me and tell me k thanks
great. B.Y.O.B. means Bring Your Own Beer.
oooooooooooooooooooooooookkkaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
yyyyy
to cutelilwolf whats the rest.