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A Man's Perfect Wedding

A Man's Perfect Wedding


If Men Were in Charge of Weddings

There would be a "Rehearsal Kegger" rather than a "Rehearsal Dinner."

Bridesmaids would wear matching blue jean cut-offs and halter tops.

They would have NO tan lines.

Vows would mention cooking and sex specifically, but omit that "forsaking all others" part.

The couple would leave the ceremony in a souped up '73 Charger or some other Mopar with racing tires and flame designs on the side of the car. Better yet, a Harley!

Idiots who tried to dance with the bride (unless they were really old) would get punched in the head.

Big, slobbery dogs would be eligible for the role of "Best Man."

There would be "Tailgate Receptions."

Ceremonies would be short and honeymoons would be long.

Ceremonies and honeymoons would be inexpensive compared to the cost of the bachelor party. Those strippers and liquor sure do add up.

Men wouldn't ask, "Well, what do you think, dear? The burgundy or the wine colored napkins?" They'd just grab extras from their local pub or tavern.

Favors would be matchbooks and cigars. Better yet, free drink passes at the local lounge.

The bride's dress would show cleavage, her navel, and be form-fitted to her butt.

Instead of a sit-down dinner or a buffet, there would be a hog roast or buckets of chicken, pizza and plenty of bar-b-que.

No one would bother with that "Veil Routine." But they would insist that the garter be as high up on her leg as it could go.

The bridal bouquet would be recycled from a previous funeral or something.

Invitations would read as follows:

Tom (Dick or Harry) is getting the ol' ball and chain... He's getting married. He either: A) knocked her up, B) couldn't get a different roommate, or C) caved in to her ultimatum. Please meet the woman who will cook and clean for him For the rest of his life at Texas Stadium On the 50 Yard Line At Half-time during Sunday's Game. Please join us at The Clubhouse after the game For Beer, Nachos and Pizza. Oh yeah... B.Y.O.B
Description: A look at what weddings might be like if men were in charge of organizing them!
 
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Page 1 of 6 52 comments | Add a comment

June 10, 2011
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Intrested in you, My name is Miss fatma, i saw your profile.And I became intrested in you, i will also like to know you the more, and i want you to send an email to my email address so i can give you my picture for you to know whom i am. Here is my email address:fatma_goson@yahoo.com i believe we can move from here. I am waiting for your mail to my email address above.. Miss fatma(Remember the distance, colour or age does not matter but what matters in life is the true love) Yours Love, Miss fatma please i will like you to contact me in my privet mail box fatma_goson@yahoo.com so i can send you my pic

 
January 22, 2011
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lmfao if i get married thts so gonna be my wedding!

 
August 04, 2010
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lol when im old enough to get married i DON'T want mine to be like this i'll plan it! im 10 by the way

 
July 29, 2010
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Hello My name is Miss Anna Bugiba ,i saw your profile today on this site www.flowgo.com and i became interested in you, l will also like to know more about you , and l will like you to email me a reply to my email,(annabugiba@hotmail.com) where i can give you my picture for you to know whom i am. I believe we can start up from here.I will be waiting for your reply(Remember the distance or color does not matter but love matters a lot in life) Anna.

 
February 02, 2010
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THIS IS A TRUE THING!! PASTE THIS MESSAGE INTO 3 COMMENTS AND HIT ALT F1 AND YOUR CRUSHES NAME WILL APPEAR!! IT SHOULD SCARE YOU AT FIRST BUT IT'S REALLY COOL

 
October 21, 2009
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good thought i doubt the wifee will ever agree

 
July 05, 2009
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omg thats definitly y men dont plann wdings!

 
December 04, 2008
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that would be 1 strange wedding!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

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