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Only When He's Drunk

Only When He's Drunk




A driver is stopped by a police officer.
The driver asks, "What's the problem officer?"

Officer: "You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone."

Man: "No sir, I was going 65."
Wife: "Oh, Harry. You were going 80."
(The man gives his wife a dirty look.)

Officer: "I'm also going to give you a ticket
for your broken tail light."

Man: "Broken tail light? I didn't know
about a broken tail light!"
Wife: "Oh Harry, you've known about that
tail light for weeks."
(The man gives his wife another dirty look.)

Officer: "I'm also going to give you a
citation for not wearing your seatbelt."

Man: "Oh I just took it off when you
were walking up to the car."
Wife: "Oh Harry, you never wear your seatbelt."

The man turns to his wife and yells, "SHUT YOUR MOUTH!"

The Officer turns to the woman and asks,
"Ma'am, does your husband talk to you
this way all the time?"

The wife says, "No, only when he's drunk."
Description: A silly joke about a man and his wife getting pulled over by the cops.
 
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Page 1 of 31 256 comments | Add a comment

September 16, 2013
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DUDE LOOK OMG SORRY!!!! WHEN U ALREADY START READING THIS DONT STOP OR ELSE SOMETHING BAD WILL HAPPEN...MY NAME IS JENNY...I AM 7 YEARS OLD WITH RED/ORANGE HAIR, PENCIL SHAVINGS THAT GOT SHOVED UP MY BUTT , MY MOTHER BEATS ME I LIVE IN A CELL WITH NO WINDOWS DOORS AND NO LIGHT, I HAVE RED SCARY EYES AND IHAVE NO NOSE OR EARS. I AM DEAD. IF YOU DONT SEND THIS TO 15PPL B4 U GO TO BED I WILL APPEAR 2NIGHT WITH A KNIFE AND KILL U THIS IS NO JOKE SOMETHING GOOD WILL HAPPEN TO U AT 10:22 SOMEONE WILL CALL YOU OR TALK TO YOU ONLINE AND SAY I LOVE YOU OR ASK YOU OUT BUT HERES THE CATCH, YOU HAVE TO SEND IT TO 15 DIFFERENT VIDEO

 
November 20, 2012
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November 05, 2012
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DUDE LOOK OMG SORRY!!!! WHEN U ALREADY START READING THIS DONT STOP OR ELSE SOMETHING BAD WILL HAPPEN...MY NAME IS JENNY...I AM 7 YEARS OLD WITH RED/ORANGE HAIR, PENCIL SHAVINGS THAT GOT SHOVED UP MY BUTT , MY MOTHER BEATS ME I LIVE IN A CELL WITH NO WINDOWS DOORS AND NO LIGHT, I HAVE RED SCARY EYES AND IHAVE NO NOSE OR EARS. I AM DEAD. IF YOU DONT SEND THIS TO 15PPL B4 U GO TO BED I WILL APPEAR 2NIGHT WITH A KNIFE AND KILL U THIS IS NO JOKE SOMETHING GOOD WILL HAPPEN TO U AT 10:22 SOMEONE WILL CALL YOU OR TALK TO YOU ONLINE AND SAY I LOVE YOU OR ASK YOU OUT BUT HERES THE CATCH, YOU HAVE TO SEND IT TO 15 DIFFERENT VIDEO

 
November 01, 2012
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August 09, 2012
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hello dear, i am not happy because of my loneliness though very beautiful,i am a lovely romantic girl, it will be a great pleasure to let you know that When we truly realize that we are all alone is when we need others the most” so write to me through (faithgood24@yahoo.com) so that i can tell you more about me and also send you my picture's i am awaiting for your email now on (faithgood24@yahoo.com) . thanks and have a nice day. your new friend faith .

 
August 08, 2012
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This thing, kiddos, is why you shouldn't do drugs or drink.

 
August 01, 2011
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if you dont post this to 10 videos your mom will die in 4 hours

 
June 17, 2011
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NOW THAT U R READING THIS DONT STOP OR U WILL DIE IN THE NEXT 4 MINS..... MY NAME IS DAVID...IM 3 YEARS OLD.....MY DAD SHOVED PENCIL LEADS UP MY ASS MY MOM BEATS MY WITH A KNIFE 50 TIME A DAY,ONE OF MY EYES R MISSING THE OTHER IS BLEEDING MY DAD LOCKES ME IN THE BASMMENT WITH NO WINDOWS NO AIR NO LIGHT AND THE ROOF IS ALWAYS LEKING THEY ONLY GIVE ME TOLITE WATER AND BREAD CRUST,COPY AND PASTE THIS TO 50 OTHER VIDEOS IN 15 MINS OR U WILL WAKE UP AT EXACKLY 1:00AM SEEING A LITTLE BOY AT THE END OF THE BED WITH A BIG KITCHEN KNIFE. PPL I HAVE KILLED: SUMMER: ONLY DID 15 BEFORE HER BEDTIME , NEXT MORNING SHE WAS FOUND WITH A DEEP CUT ON HER NECK U SOULD HAVE SAW IT IN THE NEWS IN 1987 ANDREW: HE THOUGHT IT WAS A JOKE,NOW HES HISTORY.HE DIED A SLOW AND PAINFULL DEATH.ON TV IN 1979 RACHELLE: ONLY READ HALF OF THIS AND DIDNT EVEN DO WHAT I TOLD HER NEXED MORNING THE PARENTS FOUND HER HAGING IN HER CLOSET, THERE WAS A LOT OF KNIFE MARKS ON HER BODY,ON THE RADIO 1947

 
July 29, 2011
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spary stop saying that it scares me and my family

 

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