Only When He's Drunk

A driver is stopped by a police officer.
The driver asks, "What's the problem officer?"

Officer: "You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone."

Man: "No sir, I was going 65."
Wife: "Oh, Harry. You were going 80."
(The man gives his wife a dirty look.)

Officer: "I'm also going to give you a ticket
for your broken tail light."

Man: "Broken tail light? I didn't know
about a broken tail light!"
Wife: "Oh Harry, you've known about that
tail light for weeks."
(The man gives his wife another dirty look.)

Officer: "I'm also going to give you a
citation for not wearing your seatbelt."

Man: "Oh I just took it off when you
were walking up to the car."
Wife: "Oh Harry, you never wear your seatbelt."

The man turns to his wife and yells, "SHUT YOUR MOUTH!"

The Officer turns to the woman and asks,
"Ma'am, does your husband talk to you
this way all the time?"

The wife says, "No, only when he's drunk."

Description: A silly joke about a man and his wife getting pulled over by the cops.

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tags: drunk, man, officer, jokes, humor

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Page 1 of 9 76 comments | Add a comment

October 25, 2009

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Johnnyboy14

NOW THAT U R READING THIS DONT STOP OR U WILL DIE IN THE NEXT 4 MINS..... MY NAME IS DAVID...IM 3 YEARS OLD.....MY DAD SHOVED PENCIL LEADS UP MY ASS MY MOM BEATS MY WITH A KNIFE 50 TIME A DAY,ONE OF MY EYES R MISSING THE OTHER IS BLEEDING MY DAD LOCKES ME IN THE BASMMENT WITH NO WINDOWS NO AIR NO LIGHT AND THE ROOF IS ALWAYS LEKING THEY ONLY GIVE ME TOLITE WATER AND BREAD CRUST,COPY AND PASTE THIS TO 50 OTHER VIDEOS IN 15 MINS OR U WILL WAKE UP AT EXACKLY 1:00AM SEEING A LITTLE BOY AT THE END OF THE BED WITH A BIG KITCHEN KNIFE. PPL I HAVE KILLED: SUMMER: ONLY DID 15 BEFORE HER BEDTIME , NEXT MORNING SHE WAS FOUND WITH A DEEP CUT ON HER NECK U SOULD HAVE SAW IT IN THE NEWS IN 1987 ANDREW: HE THOUGHT IT WAS A JOKE,NOW HES HISTORY.HE DIED A SLOW AND PAINFULL DEATH.ON TV IN 1979 RACHELLE: ONLY READ HALF OF THIS AND DIDNT EVEN DO WHAT I TOLD HER NEXED MORNING THE PARENTS FOUND HER HAGING IN HER CLOSET, THERE WAS A LOT OF KNIFE MARKS ON HER BODY,ON THE RADIO 1947

October 21, 2009

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iamtheclub863

lmfao lmfao omg that is so damn funny i cant stop laughing

October 16, 2009

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VeganChick101