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Redneck Letter




Dear Billy Joe Bob,

I'm writing this slow because I know you can't read fast. We don't
live where we did when you left home. Your Pa read in the newspaper
that most accidents happen within 20 minutes of your home, so
we moved. I won't be able to send you the address because the
last family that lived here took the house numbers when they moved
so they wouldn't have to change their address.

This place is really nice. I even has a washing machine. I'm not sure
it works so well, though. Last week I put a load of clothes in
and pulled the chain, we haven't seen it since.

The weather isn't bad here. It only rained twice last week; the first
time for three days and the second time for four days.

About that coat you wanted me to send; your Uncle Bubba said it would
be too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut
them off and put them in the pockets.

Bubba locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really worried because
it took him two hours to get me and your father out.

Your sister had a baby this morning, but I haven't found out what it
is yet so I don't know if you are an aunt or uncle. The baby looks
just like your brother.

Uncle Bobby Ray fell into a whiskey vat last week. Some men tried to
pull him out but he fought them off and drowned. We had him cremated;
he burned for three days.

Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pickup truck. Butch was
driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your other
two friends were in the back, they drowned because they couldn't
get the tailgate down.

Love and kisses,
Your favorite aunt
Description: A funny letter from a redneck family.
 
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Page 1 of 1 9 comments | Add a comment

September 16, 2013
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DUDE LOOK OMG SORRY!!!! WHEN U ALREADY START READING THIS DONT STOP OR ELSE SOMETHING BAD WILL HAPPEN...MY NAME IS JENNY...I AM 7 YEARS OLD WITH RED/ORANGE HAIR, PENCIL SHAVINGS THAT GOT SHOVED UP MY BUTT , MY MOTHER BEATS ME I LIVE IN A CELL WITH NO WINDOWS DOORS AND NO LIGHT, I HAVE RED SCARY EYES AND IHAVE NO NOSE OR EARS. I AM DEAD. IF YOU DONT SEND THIS TO 15PPL B4 U GO TO BED I WILL APPEAR 2NIGHT WITH A KNIFE AND KILL U THIS IS NO JOKE SOMETHING GOOD WILL HAPPEN TO U AT 10:22 SOMEONE WILL CALL YOU OR TALK TO YOU ONLINE AND SAY I LOVE YOU OR ASK YOU OUT BUT HERES THE CATCH, YOU HAVE TO SEND IT TO 15 DIFFERENT VIDEO

 
May 09, 2010
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that is funny!

 
December 28, 2008
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that funny it sound like something that one of my friend would do wesley

 
November 28, 2007
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You have to read this!!! Say your crushes name 2 times and your best friends name 10 times. Paste this in 20 minutes in 12 different videos. then press f8 and your crushes name will pop up. If you do NOT do this or Fail you will die on the nearest Saturday. THIS IS SOOO SCARY! IT ACTUALLY WORKS

 
October 13, 2007
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I think somebody where I live may have written that letter. There's a bunch of hickerbillies where I live.

 
October 04, 2007
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its stupid don't make since

 
October 02, 2007
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i don't get it, plz explane

 
October 03, 2007
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It should be called the Tennessee Letter

 
September 29, 2007
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thats funy. i like it.

 

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